Sadly my Valentines Day plans are looking terrible: My restraining order from Megan Fox has been reinstated; my McDonalds meal voucher booklet is empty, and Beryl from the corner shop is having her hip replaced that day.
Still, I’m not as unfortunate as the poor soul that decides to invest in a 3D printed sex toy in the shape of Justin Beiber’s head as a gift for their partner. Possibly to be presented to them over breakfast. In front of the children.
With websites such as Makerlove and Dongiverse popping up offering print files, it’s easier than ever to print privates in private. However there’s more than the issue of taste holding back these 3D printed weapons of love, no, there’s the question of materials and printer definition.
All sites are clear that home-printed sex toys aren’t safe for use – rough, scratchy, porous and possibly unfit for purpose materials are also nigh on impossible to clean safely – but are to be used to create moulds for more suitable materials.
Customisation is key with much of the home printing taking place, and despite these initial limitations a bit of personalisation in the bedroom might be the place where this could take off.
Most of the products on the Makerlove site are built to encompass the industry favourite Bullet vibration unit, while the casing can be anything that takes the imagination. Makerlove are even buying up new designs at up to $75 apiece.
Should you have access to a 3D scanner then you can whip out a life size replica of your own genitalia, which would at least keep materials costs low… New York Toy Collective are offering a materials-safe service doing just this.
“We are best known for using 3D technology to created personalized replicas of you or your loved one,” coos its website. “We can scan any body party and turn it into a body safe toy. Most people opt for a toy of their erect penis as a gift or for personal use.”
So beware stumbling like brainwashed cattle towards the big day; with the mainstream media likely to clasp hold of this customisable, DIY (in more ways than one), product like any other tech story with a raunchy undertone, be careful what you buy your loved ones.